Never Tell Batman His Son is Pregnant
by The Secret Lover
Summary: Slight Zane/Kayne and Batman/Superman. When it comes to his son, Batman can get a little eccentric. Slash, mentions of mpreg, oneshot.


Never Tell Batman His Son is Pregnant

**Never Tell Batman His Son is Pregnant**

**(A/N):** Well to put it simply, I was amused by the thought of Kayne (Son of Superman) telling his other father, Batman, he was pregnant. Which, would lead to the very painful death of said man responsible. This being on of the spin off stories of Son of Superman that me and my friend Oni-chan have—and more than likely will do more—done.

The number of things the Dark Knight could handle where small and few. Dwindling more and more ever since the discovery of his son, mostly due to whom the mother of the superhuman teen was, considering she was actually a **he**.

But no amount of counseling—Dianna tying him with her lasso as J'onn questioned him—or anger management—more forced help from J'onn—could prepare Bruce Wayne for today. "Youre what?!"

"Im, ah," the brunette stammered, scratching the side of his head as he considered waiting until his other father was home to tell Batman this, "well, uh, Im pregnant."

Flinching slightly, hazel eyes drifted to the ground as he waited for the inevitable rant on how-could-you-be-so-stupid-and-get-yourself-**pregnant**?! and wasnt-going-through-this-**twice**-with-your-father-enough?!

A moment. Then another.

Daring to raise his head, his eyes only met empty air as he glimpsed around the room.

"Dad?"

"Tell me his name."

Of course, he turned to the doorway where now Batman stood. Carrying what seemed to be one of the katanas in his collection. The longest one. "Wha-"

"Who's the father? I swear if it's Static's!" The threat to the mutant didnt even need to be finished for the general idea to sink into the youngers head.

"God, no! It's too old for me, dad," Kayne yelled as shot the older man his perfect bat glare.

Batman glared back, ready to unleash his anger any moment. Each step he took closer unsettled the twenty-one year old a little more, until a hand clamped down on each shoulder. Leaving him with no place to hide as Batman brought them eye to eye with each other.

_Oh no, he's gonna kill me,_ the brunette's mind whirled with the images of the blade going trough him, _He's gonna kill me and then clone me so dad will never find out!_

"Who. Is. The. _Father_?!"

_Does asking for the father make me the mother in this? Ass, he's calling me a woman! No, he wouldnt insult his son, but if he's gonna kill me, then why not insult me too? Great, now Im confused._

"Im not a woman," he sneered bitterly before raising his lower lip into a pout.

The other shot him a confused look, obscured by his cowl, as he opened his mouth to retort. Shutting it promptly a moment later when it became apparent nothing would come out. This family was gonna be the death of him, he just knew it. Definitely had to get Kayne to stop hanging out with Flash so much, who knew what popped into his head now a days.

Settling back for his usual glare, Bruce forced down the urge to shake his son till his head popped off from the force. If the jittering of the brunette was anything to go by, he'd have his answer soon enough.

"Zane Trevor."

A brief silence passed as the name clicked into the vast memory of the millionaire, "The purple and silver guy youre always fight?"

He had barely begun to nod, when Batman turned on his heels and charged out of the room. Front door slamming in the distance as Kayne stared at where his father had exited the room. Slowly managing to bring his hand to the comm. link in his ear.

"J'onn…is my dad busy?"

The monotone voice came in crystal clear as if he was in the same room, forcing the brunette to not glance around for the Martian, "That depends, Kayne. Which father do you mean?"

"The one who gave birth to me."

"Currently no. Why might you need him for?"

"Tell him dad went crazy and is about to kill the father of his grandchild," pausing a moment to consider his wording, "And no, not me, the other one."

Someone was gonna die today. Batman was going to make sure of that as he tracked Silver Thunder to his local hideout. Out of the corner of his eye, Bruce could have sworn he saw The Streaker run past.

Maybe Kayne was right when he said he got the nut jobs due to his relations to him. What kind of bad guy's power is to run around stark naked?! Even the dark knight didnt have to deal with that kind of insanity in his crime fighting life.

If he showed up anywhere near Kayne, he'd be next on the recently made kill list.

It always struck him as odd that how most villains chose top secret facilities and abandoned warehouses to be their hiding places and yet, the electric manipulator chose his family's old appliance store. It seemed that most people would want to be **hidden** when theyre a criminal, yet some how the place seemed to actually work at keeping him from getting caught.

Picking the lock, he made his way to one of the doors in the back—last one on the left—and headed down the stairs. It was a rather home-y place to live; T.V., a couch, carpeted floors, and one whole wall being an old book case filled to the brim with all kinds of reading material.

"Never really expected to be visited by the Great Batman," a scratchy voice called from around the corner before the silver haired man appeared. Leaning against the wall slightly, arms crossed over his chest, violet eyes gleaming with a mix of shock and anticipation. "Why exactly are you here?"

"I would think you would already know the answer to that."

The staring match went on for a moment before Silver shifted his gaze to the sheathed blade upon the black clad figure's back. Interest perking at the new discovery, "I take this is something personal?"

Before the final word was even out of his mouth, Batman had instantly come to be only a few inches apart from the younger man, with speed that might have rivaled Flash's.

"You can say that," it was spoken slowly, irritation rising in his voice as he continued, "simply I can came to tell you something; Learn to keep your damn pants on!"

The following seconds became a blur to both parties as a fist connected with Silver's face—emitting a pleasurable cracking sound, more than likely, a broken nose—and sending him reeling backwards. Collapsing onto his back where he had previously entered from, the dark knight quickly following up with a solid kick to the ribs and causing the other to roll back down the hallway.

"Didnt really think it through, huh," letting out an almost feral growl, Batman clenched the silver and violet spandex suit with both hands, lifting Zane off the ground and throwing him into the nearest wall. "Did ya, Sparky?!" Lifting him back to his feet once more before slamming him against the wall once more—smacking his head hard enough to give the younger man a concussion—supporting him there.

Another jab connecting with his jaw, splitting his lip—luckily not resulting in a broken jaw. The assault continued for a sound ten minutes, neither of them hearing the opening of the door or the sound of someone flying down quickly. Not until Batman had his arms pinned to his sides by a crushing force that—it they wanted to—could break every bone in his body.

"That's enough Bruce," the voice was filled with obvious annoyance and anger, only half directed in the brunette's direction.

"Not till I get to make sure he cant impregnate anyone again, Clark. Just let me slice it off."

"Will you listen to yourself? Youre homicidal and I cant let you go killing him. It'd be a bitch to have to send you to jail."

He deflated slightly at the thought, trapped away from his family for years. Definitely not going to happening. "Fine," free of the death grip, he hesitated on following the raven out. Whispering a final threat to the beaten figure, sprawled on the ground before finally leaving.

"What did you tell him?"

"You already know."

Chuckling slightly, Superman shook his head at his lover's words, "Ill gladly help you hide the body if that's the case. Im sure no one will find him if we toss the body into the sun."

**(A/N2): **Meh, probably not my best work, but Oni-chan's been looking forward to this for awhile now so I was gonna make sure she got this before I went to bed. Specially since its her bday.

Happy Birthday Sama! glomps


End file.
